Margot spent all morning asking when she could stand beside her father for wedding pictures. Then I found her alone outside the bridal suite, twisting the pink ribbon on her flower basket. What she told me changed the meaning of every smiling photograph Claire had posed for beside her for two years.<\/p>\n
“Grandpa, do I stand next to Daddy or Claire?”<\/p>\n
Margot had asked me the same question three times.<\/p>\n
“Probably both, sweetheart.”<\/p>\n
“Good.”<\/p>\n
“Grandpa, do I stand next to Daddy or Claire?”<\/p>\n
She adjusted her pink flower-girl dress and peered toward the photographer.<\/p>\n
“I’m going to smile with all my teeth.”<\/p>\n
“You only have twenty of them!”<\/p>\n
“I know. That’s all of them.”<\/p>\n
I laughed.<\/p>\n
“I’m going to smile with all my teeth.”<\/p>\n
Across the room, Claire was having her makeup touched up.<\/p>\n
Margot hurried toward her holding a rose petal.<\/p>\n
“Claire! Look. It’s shaped like a heart.”<\/p>\n
“Not now, honey.”<\/p>\n
Margot stopped.<\/p>\n
Across the room, Claire was having her makeup touched up.<\/p>\n
Then the photographer entered.<\/p>\n
Claire immediately looked over.<\/p>\n
“Margot, come here.”<\/p>\n
My granddaughter ran back.<\/p>\n
Claire fixed the bow in her hair, bent beside her, and smiled as the camera clicked.<\/p>\n
Then the photographer entered.<\/p>\n
“Beautiful,” the photographer said.<\/p>\n
Margot beamed.<\/p>\n
I didn’t think anything of it.<\/p>\n
Why would I?<\/p>\n
For two years, Claire had seemed good with her.<\/p>\n
Not perfect. Nobody is.<\/p>\n
Claire had seemed good with her.<\/p>\n
But there were Christmas pictures in matching pajamas, birthday parties, trips to the zoo, and dozens of photographs where Claire had one arm around Margot.<\/p>\n
That mattered to me.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
By 68, I’d already buried my wife and my only daughter.<\/p>\n
I’d already buried my wife and my only daughter.<\/p>\n
Phoebe died in a car accident when Margot was two.<\/p>\n
After that, Emmett stopped feeling like a former son-in-law.<\/p>\n
He was family.<\/p>\n
We learned how to raise Margot around a hole none of us could fill.<\/p>\n
Emmett stopped feeling like a former son-in-law.<\/p>\n
I handled preschool pickups when Emmett worked late. He learned to braid hair badly, then less badly. I told Margot stories about Phoebe whenever she asked.<\/p>\n
When Emmett met Claire, I wanted it to work.<\/p>\n
Two years later, when he proposed, I was genuinely happy for them.<\/p>\n
When Emmett met Claire, I wanted it to work.<\/p>\n
Maybe I needed it to work.<\/p>\n
And every smiling photograph made me think it had.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
An hour before the ceremony, Margot tugged my sleeve.<\/p>\n
“When do we do family pictures, Grandpa?”<\/p>\n
“Soon, I imagine.”<\/p>\n
“Claire said later.”<\/p>\n
“When do we do family pictures, Grandpa?”<\/p>\n
“Then later.”<\/p>\n
She skipped away with her flower basket.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes afterward, I went looking for her.<\/p>\n
I heard Claire before I reached the bridal room.<\/p>\n
“Margot, stop asking.”<\/p>\n
“But Daddy said we’d take pictures.”<\/p>\n
I heard Claire before I reached the bridal room.<\/p>\n
“We will.”<\/p>\n
“When?”<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
Then Claire’s voice changed.<\/p>\n
“Listen to me. You’re not the most important girl in your dad’s life anymore. Stay out of the family photos.”<\/p>\n
I stopped walking.<\/p>\n
“Stay out of the family photos.”<\/p>\n
“Today is about your dad and me,” Claire added. “Unless somebody specifically asks for you, leave the pictures alone.”<\/p>\n
“But I’m family.”<\/p>\n
“Margot…”<\/p>\n
“I am.”<\/p>\n
“Go find your grandfather.”<\/p>\n
The door opened.<\/p>\n
I stepped back before Margot saw me.<\/p>\n
“But I’m family.”<\/p>\n
She walked into the hallway with her flower basket hanging from one hand.<\/p>\n
Claire didn’t follow.<\/p>\n
Margot sat in a chair near the window.<\/p>\n
She put the basket between her shoes and started pulling at one of its pink ribbons.<\/p>\n
I sat beside her.<\/p>\n
Claire didn’t follow.<\/p>\n
For a while, I didn’t ask anything.<\/p>\n
I straightened the ribbon she’d crushed.<\/p>\n
Then I asked, “What happened, sweetheart?”<\/p>\n
“Claire says I’m not Daddy’s important girl anymore.”<\/p>\n
“That’s not how it works, dear.”<\/p>\n
“What happened, sweetheart?”<\/p>\n
“Claire said today is hers.”<\/p>\n
I kept my voice low.<\/p>\n
“Did she say why you couldn’t be in the pictures?”<\/p>\n
Margot stared at the basket.<\/p>\n
“She says I make them look like before.”<\/p>\n
“Before what?”<\/p>\n
“She says I make them look like before.”<\/p>\n
She shrugged.<\/p>\n
“Before her.”<\/p>\n
I looked toward the closed bridal-room door.<\/p>\n
I wanted to knock.<\/p>\n
No, I wanted to do considerably more than knock.<\/p>\n
Then Margot leaned against me.<\/p>\n
“Can I stay with you?”<\/p>\n
“Of course, sweetheart.”<\/p>\n
So I stayed.<\/p>\n
“Can I stay with you?”<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The ceremony happened.<\/p>\n
Margot walked down the aisle scattering petals.<\/p>\n
Claire smiled when Margot reached the front.<\/p>\n
A camera flashed.<\/p>\n
Claire bent and touched Margot’s cheek.<\/p>\n
Margot smiled back.<\/p>\n
The ceremony happened.<\/p>\n
Something about that bothered me now.<\/p>\n
At the reception, my granddaughter sat between Emmett and me.<\/p>\n
Claire sat on his other side.<\/p>\n
Dinner arrived.<\/p>\n
People laughed.<\/p>\n
Glasses clinked.<\/p>\n
Then the speeches began.<\/p>\n
Something about that bothered me now.<\/p>\n
I had one folded in my jacket pocket.<\/p>\n
I’d written it three nights earlier.<\/p>\n
It welcomed Claire.<\/p>\n
It said Phoebe would have wanted Emmett to find happiness again.<\/p>\n
It thanked Claire for loving Margot.<\/p>\n
I left it in my pocket.<\/p>\n
It thanked Claire for loving Margot.<\/p>\n
When my name was called, I stood.<\/p>\n
Emmett smiled at me.<\/p>\n
Claire lifted her champagne.<\/p>\n
I raised my glass.<\/p>\n
“Shortly before the ceremony, I found my five-year-old granddaughter crying because she’d been told she wasn’t the most important girl in her father’s life anymore and should stay out of the family pictures.”<\/p>\n
“I found my five-year-old granddaughter crying.”<\/p>\n
By the time I finished that sentence, the room had gone silent.<\/p>\n
Claire put her champagne glass down.<\/p>\n
“Louis…”<\/p>\n
I looked at Emmett.<\/p>\n
“I’m not going to tell you what to do with that.”<\/p>\n
He wasn’t smiling anymore.<\/p>\n
“I’m not going to tell you what to do with that.”<\/p>\n
“But before anybody takes another family picture tonight,” I continued, “ask your daughter why she thinks she isn’t supposed to be in it.”<\/p>\n
I put down the microphone.<\/p>\n
Nobody applauded.<\/p>\n
Good.<\/p>\n
I hadn’t asked them to.<\/p>\n
Nobody applauded.<\/p>\n
Emmett turned toward Margot.<\/p>\n
“Sweetheart, come with me.”<\/p>\n
Claire caught his sleeve.<\/p>\n
“Emmett, don’t do this here.”<\/p>\n
He looked at her hand.<\/p>\n
She let go.<\/p>\n
“Sweetheart, come with me.”<\/p>\n
He took Margot into a small room off the hallway.<\/p>\n
I started after them.<\/p>\n
Then stopped.<\/p>\n
He was her father.<\/p>\n
This part belonged to him.<\/p>\n
I waited outside.<\/p>\n
This part belonged to him.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Several minutes passed.<\/p>\n
Then the door opened.<\/p>\n
“Louis.”<\/p>\n
Emmett’s voice sounded different.<\/p>\n
I went inside.<\/p>\n
Margot was sitting on a bench, her flower basket beside her.<\/p>\n
Emmett’s voice sounded different.<\/p>\n
Emmett crouched in front of her.<\/p>\n
“Tell Grandpa what you told me.”<\/p>\n
Margot looked at me.<\/p>\n
“About what?”<\/p>\n
Emmett rubbed his hands over his knees.<\/p>\n
“Claire.”<\/p>\n
“About what?”<\/p>\n
Margot considered that.<\/p>\n
“Picture Claire?”<\/p>\n
Emmett looked at me.<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
“Who’s Picture Claire?” I asked.<\/p>\n
Margot pointed toward the reception.<\/p>\n
“Claire when people take pictures.”<\/p>\n
“Who’s Picture Claire?”<\/p>\n
“What about her?”<\/p>\n
Margot swung one pink shoe.<\/p>\n
“She’s nicer.”<\/p>\n
Emmett sat back on his heels.<\/p>\n
“What do you mean, nicer?”<\/p>\n
Margot shrugged.<\/p>\n
“She does stuff.”<\/p>\n
“She’s nicer.”<\/p>\n
“What stuff?”<\/p>\n
“She plays.”<\/p>\n
“Claire plays with you”<\/p>\n
Margot nodded.<\/p>\n
“When people come.”<\/p>\n
Emmett didn’t answer.<\/p>\n
Margot kept swinging her shoe.<\/p>\n
“She fixes my hair when her friends come too.”<\/p>\n
“She plays.”<\/p>\n
I remembered Claire kneeling beside Margot that morning.<\/p>\n
The photographer entering.<\/p>\n
“Margot, come here.”<\/p>\n
The bow.<\/p>\n
The smile.<\/p>\n
The camera.<\/p>\n
Emmett asked, “What happens when people aren’t there?”<\/p>\n
“Margot, come here.”<\/p>\n
Margot thought.<\/p>\n
“She tells me to ask you.”<\/p>\n
“For what?”<\/p>\n
“Stuff.”<\/p>\n
“What stuff, honey?”<\/p>\n
“Juice. Stories. Playing restaurant.”<\/p>\n
Emmett lowered himself onto the bench beside her.<\/p>\n
“But you like Claire.”<\/p>\n
“She tells me to ask you.”<\/p>\n
Margot nodded quickly.<\/p>\n
“I like Picture Claire.”<\/p>\n
Four words.<\/p>\n
That was all.<\/p>\n
But suddenly I could see photographs I’d never questioned.<\/p>\n
Matching Christmas pajamas.<\/p>\n
Claire kneeling beside Margot’s birthday cake.<\/p>\n
Claire brushing her hair before a neighborhood party.<\/p>\n
Claire holding Margot at the zoo while somebody else took the picture.<\/p>\n
“I like Picture Claire.”<\/p>\n
Emmett stared at the carpet.<\/p>\n
“How did I miss this?”<\/p>\n
I almost told him he hadn’t.<\/p>\n
Almost told him Claire had fooled everyone.<\/p>\n
Instead, I remembered Margot once telling me Claire didn’t like playing restaurant unless company came.<\/p>\n
I’d laughed.<\/p>\n
“Same way I did.”<\/p>\n
“How did I miss this?”<\/p>\n
Margot slid off the bench.<\/p>\n
“Can I have cake now?”<\/p>\n
Emmett looked at her.<\/p>\n
“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“Chocolate?”<\/p>\n
“As much as Grandpa lets you have.”<\/p>\n
She took my hand.<\/p>\n
“Grandpa lets me have lots.”<\/p>\n
“Can I have cake now?”<\/p>\n
“Traitor,” Emmett muttered.<\/p>\n
Margot giggled.<\/p>\n
It helped.<\/p>\n
Then she ran ahead toward the reception.<\/p>\n
Emmett stayed behind.<\/p>\n
“What do I do?”<\/p>\n
“I meant what I said in there,” I told him. “I’m not telling you.”<\/p>\n
“Louis…”<\/p>\n
“What do I do?”<\/p>\n
“You need to talk to your wife.”<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
I turned to leave.<\/p>\n
Then he said, “Do you think Phoebe would’ve seen it?”<\/p>\n
I stopped.<\/p>\n
There it was.<\/p>\n
Phoebe again.<\/p>\n
We did that often.<\/p>\n
“Do you think Phoebe would’ve seen it?”<\/p>\n
What would Phoebe think?<\/p>\n
Phoebe had that smile.<\/p>\n
Phoebe loved chocolate too.<\/p>\n
Margot looked so much like Phoebe at that age.<\/p>\n
We meant it lovingly.<\/p>\n
But we’d been asking a little girl to live beside a woman she couldn’t remember.<\/p>\n
We meant it lovingly.<\/p>\n
“I don’t know,” I said.<\/p>\n
Emmett looked surprised.<\/p>\n
“I think we should stop making Phoebe answer questions she isn’t here to answer.”<\/p>\n
He looked toward the reception doors.<\/p>\n
Then he went to find Claire.<\/p>\n
“I don’t know.”<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
I stayed with Margot near the dessert table.<\/p>\n
She had chocolate frosting on one cheek when Claire and Emmett disappeared into the same side room.<\/p>\n
They were gone ten minutes.<\/p>\n
Then fifteen.<\/p>\n
Finally, the door opened.<\/p>\n
They were gone ten minutes.<\/p>\n
Claire came out first.<\/p>\n
She wasn’t crying.<\/p>\n
She looked angry.<\/p>\n
Emmett followed.<\/p>\n
Claire turned on him.<\/p>\n
“Are you really letting him do this at our wedding?”<\/p>\n
Emmett looked past her at me.<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
“Then tell him.”<\/p>\n
She wasn’t crying.<\/p>\n
“I’m asking you something first.”<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
He folded the napkin he’d been carrying once.<\/p>\n
Then again.<\/p>\n
“What is Picture Claire?”<\/p>\n
Claire stopped.<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
“Margot has a name for you when other people are watching.”<\/p>\n
“What is Picture Claire?”<\/p>\n
“She’s five.”<\/p>\n
“Exactly.”<\/p>\n
Claire glanced toward Margot.<\/p>\n
“You’re taking this seriously?”<\/p>\n
“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“Because a five-year-old said I don’t play restaurant enough?”<\/p>\n
“No. Because my daughter has noticed that you treat her differently when somebody can see you.”<\/p>\n
“You’re taking this seriously?”<\/p>\n
Claire’s fingers closed around the stem of her champagne glass.<\/p>\n
“That’s ridiculous.”<\/p>\n
“Is it?”<\/p>\n
“I have done everything I can to make her feel included.”<\/p>\n
“Included in what?”<\/p>\n
“Our family.”<\/p>\n
“Included in what?”<\/p>\n
Emmett waited.<\/p>\n
Claire seemed to hear her own answer a second too late.<\/p>\n
He asked, “Then why did you tell her to stay out of the family pictures?”<\/p>\n
Claire set the glass down.<\/p>\n
“Because I wanted one day.”<\/p>\n
“One day for what?”<\/p>\n
“For us.”<\/p>\n
“Because I wanted one day.”<\/p>\n
“You had couple portraits.”<\/p>\n
“That’s not what I mean, Em.”<\/p>\n
“Then tell me.”<\/p>\n
Claire looked toward the reception.<\/p>\n
When she spoke again, her voice was lower.<\/p>\n
“Do you have any idea what it’s like marrying into this family?”<\/p>\n
“You had couple portraits.”<\/p>\n
Emmett didn’t interrupt.<\/p>\n
“Everywhere I go, Phoebe is there.”<\/p>\n
My name wasn’t mentioned, but I felt the sentence land near me anyway.<\/p>\n
“Margot looks like Phoebe,” she added. “You still have Phoebe’s things. Louis tells Phoebe stories. Your mother talks about what Phoebe would’ve cooked or worn or said.”<\/p>\n
“Everywhere I go, Phoebe is there.”<\/p>\n
Claire looked past us toward the head table, where two champagne glasses were still waiting.<\/p>\n
“I walk into a room and sometimes I feel like everybody is checking whether I’m doing things the way your dead wife would’ve done them.”<\/p>\n
Emmett said, “Nobody asked you to be Phoebe.”<\/p>\n
“Nobody asked you to be Phoebe.”<\/p>\n
“You didn’t have to.” Claire looked at Margot. “I wanted today to look like ours.”<\/p>\n
Emmett followed her eyes.<\/p>\n
“Margot is ours.”<\/p>\n
Claire answered too quickly.<\/p>\n
“She’s yours.”<\/p>\n
Nobody spoke.<\/p>\n
Claire closed her eyes for a moment.<\/p>\n
“That’s not what I meant.”<\/p>\n
“Margot is ours.”<\/p>\n
Emmett looked at her.<\/p>\n
“I think it is.”<\/p>\n
“Emmett…”<\/p>\n
“You didn’t marry me without her.”<\/p>\n
Claire reached for his hand.<\/p>\n
He stepped back.<\/p>\n
Then he walked toward Margot.<\/p>\n
She was still holding her flower basket.<\/p>\n
“You didn’t marry me without her.”<\/p>\n
“Come on, sweetheart.”<\/p>\n
“Where?”<\/p>\n
“Home.”<\/p>\n
Margot blinked.<\/p>\n
“But there’s cake.”<\/p>\n
I nearly laughed.<\/p>\n
Emmett crouched.<\/p>\n
“I’ll get you cake.”<\/p>\n
“Two pieces?”<\/p>\n
He glanced at me.<\/p>\n
“Apparently Grandpa has ruined you.”<\/p>\n
“I’ll get you cake.”<\/p>\n
“Three,” I said.<\/p>\n
Margot grinned.<\/p>\n
Behind us, Claire said Emmett’s name.<\/p>\n
He stood.<\/p>\n
She looked around at the flowers, the tables, and the guests waiting for the reception to become normal again.<\/p>\n
“You’re leaving our wedding?”<\/p>\n
Claire said Emmett’s name.<\/p>\n
Emmett looked down at his daughter.<\/p>\n
Then back at his bride.<\/p>\n
“Yes.”<\/p>\n
He took Margot’s hand.<\/p>\n
I picked up her flower basket.<\/p>\n
And the three of us walked toward the door.<\/p>\n
He took Margot’s hand.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
That night, Margot sat at my kitchen table in her pink dress, eating buttered toast because three pieces of wedding cake apparently didn’t count as dinner.<\/p>\n
Emmett sat across from her.<\/p>\n
“Is Claire mad at me?” Margot asked.<\/p>\n
“Probably.”<\/p>\n
“Is Claire mad at me?”<\/p>\n
She stopped chewing.<\/p>\n
“Is that bad?”<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
“But I made you leave.”<\/p>\n
Emmett reached across the table.<\/p>\n
“You didn’t make me do anything, sweetheart.”<\/p>\n
“Is that bad?”<\/p>\n
Margot studied his hand.<\/p>\n
“Am I still your important girl?”<\/p>\n
Emmett was quiet for a moment.<\/p>\n
“You know what? I don’t like that game.”<\/p>\n
“What game?”<\/p>\n
“Most important. Second most important. Winning places.”<\/p>\n
“Am I still your important girl?”<\/p>\n
Margot frowned.<\/p>\n
“I wasn’t playing.”<\/p>\n
“I know.”<\/p>\n
He turned his palm over, and she put her hand in it.<\/p>\n
“You have your own place with me, Margot. Nobody else gets it.”<\/p>\n
“Even if you get married?”<\/p>\n
“Even then.”<\/p>\n
“I wasn’t playing.”<\/p>\n
She considered this, then pushed her toast toward him.<\/p>\n
“Want some?”<\/p>\n
“Absolutely not.”<\/p>\n
“It’s good.”<\/p>\n
“It has strawberry jam and cheese on it.”<\/p>\n
“I made it up.”<\/p>\n
She considered this.<\/p>\n
I nearly said Phoebe used to invent terrible snacks too.<\/p>\n
The words reached my tongue.<\/p>\n
I left them there.<\/p>\n
Instead I asked, “Is it any good?”<\/p>\n
Margot held out a bite.<\/p>\n
I tried it.<\/p>\n
“Terrible.”<\/p>\n
She laughed so hard toast crumbs landed on the table.<\/p>\n
“Is it any good?”<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Over the following weeks, Emmett and Claire had conversations I wasn’t part of.<\/p>\n
In the end, he decided he couldn’t continue the marriage.<\/p>\n
A month later, I visited Emmett’s apartment.<\/p>\n
Margot charged into the kitchen holding a drawing.<\/p>\n
“Daddy! Look!”<\/p>\n
He decided he couldn’t continue the marriage.<\/p>\n
Emmett was stirring pasta.<\/p>\n
He turned off the burner.<\/p>\n
“What is that?”<\/p>\n
“A dinosaur birthday party.”<\/p>\n
“Why does that one have six legs?”<\/p>\n
“He’s fast.”<\/p>\n
“Obviously!”<\/p>\n
“What is that?”<\/p>\n
Margot handed him the picture and ran back toward her toys.<\/p>\n
Emmett found a magnet and put the drawing on the refrigerator.<\/p>\n
Crooked.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, one corner curled away from the refrigerator.<\/p>\n
Emmett noticed while draining the pasta.<\/p>\n
He stopped, pressed the corner flat, then went back to making dinner.<\/p>\n
Emmett found a magnet and put the drawing on the refrigerator.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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